Today we played DnD!
So, to start off with, the party members went their separate ways and took care of some personal business.
Hank-now-Hannah when to a swinging swingers party and hung out with Sir Elton and some dude thought he totally recognized her but she totally lied her way out of admitting she was some dude he once knew in the Lionheart Kingdom. Also, while chatting with some people, they let slip to Hannah that Matthew Makana the Wizard was a bit of a loose cannon and any day now he would do something terrible while hopped up on Bahah Blast. Foreshadowing!
Nory made some deals to try to get some adorable toys made of his Dread Lord Cthulu at a toy store, (called, I think, Alan and Annie’s?) but when the guy tried to get him to poach an apprentice from a rival toy store (definitely called Poppa’s Toys), Nory decided it was a much better toy store and he would just get his dolls made there instead.
Ulfgar met up with the Sultan bearing gifts, and scored some sweet commissions in banking for the Orebreaker Clan, but had to sweeten the deal by getting his adventuring party by taking out the crime syndicate living in the sewers, who were not the Thieves’ Guild at all, because the Thieves’ Guild is very respectable.
Dragon Man tried to kill some rich people who almost ran someone over, but then his nemesis, Superdragon, showed up, wearing a red cloak of flight and pledging to protect the wealthy from the ravages of the court system. Dragon Man knew he was outmatched so he slinked off in shame, like he would.
Battle Bard played music at a party but not that well, and thus failed to pick up any chicks.
When everyone returned to the hotel room, Ulfgar laid out what happened in his meeting with the Sultan, and then the party spent an hour arguing over whether or not the crime syndicate living the sewers may in fact be evil, or whether or not they should just run off and try to kill the insanely powerful wizard they got hired for a measly thousand gold to take out. Dragon Man, the Bard, and Hannah went out into town to ask around to determine if the crime syndicate that lived in the sewers was actually evil and worth taking out, or if they were a merry band who robbed from the rich and gave to the poor like Dragon Man seemed to think they were for some reason. (Maybe being butthurt after his encounter with Superdragon and having to run away with his tail between his legs?) On the way, Dragon Man and the Bard got threatened by some Bahah Goons, angry that Makana was still alive, but Dragon Man just insulted them and they continued on their way.
Well, what do you know? It turned out the crime syndicate living in the sewers were a band of rapists and murderers! The party members came back and maybe kinda accepted that they should just do like Ulfgar said already.
The next morning they headed into the sewers. And, as soon as they touched down, they were immediately attacked by vile mutants hiding in the shadows. Dragon Man got overwhelmed and went down after one round. Then, the rest of the party came down and made short work of the mutants, though Battle Bard had to grapple with some tentacle-thing living in the sewer waters.
Continuing on, they came to an alcove, where a treasure chest was upon an island of stone, and a woman, who claimed her name was Amanda and who looked like an adventurer, urging them to go open the treasure chest, which she insisted she had just come down here to find and open, because people totally share loot with random other adventurers they meet in the sewers.
Dragon Man jumped across to open it, but oh well, it turned out it wasn’t a treasure chest at all but was actually a mimic and it started trying to eat him. Battle Bard jumped over and started trying to fight the mimic as well, while Ulfgar, who smelled a rat, sent a firebolt at Amanda and told her to back off. Amanda replied with a spell that, thanks to Ulfgar failing the super-easy Wisdom Saving Throw, dropped him to zero hit points and he dropped, literally.
Hannah gave Ulfgar a potion which got him back on his feet so he could hurl a Scorching Ray at the not very nice Amanda, who didn’t like that very much and ran off. When the rest of the party finished off the mimic, they all made fun of Ulfgar for attacking the nice adventuring lady, which made Ulfgar feel like an idiot, even though out-of-game we learned that Amanda was actually a Swamp Hag or something which means he was actually right and the party was wrong and they should really stop questioning him all the time.
They then continued on and after Hannah having a bit of an issue with a trap, they decided that maybe they had to go back because the party was pretty worn out at this point. Ulfgar decided, perhaps out of annoyance with seeming to do everything wrong, to just go just a little bit up ahead before turning back to investigate a dead body lying in the water.
Well, that turned out not to be such a hot idea. He immediately got attacked by some kind of water current creature and was knocked into the sewer water unconscious, lying beneath its bulk.
Fortunately, the party was able to rush in and attack the creature and, thanks to Dragon Man scoring a critical hit and deciding to unload all of his Smite Evils for the day, (who knew Dragon Man could Smite Evil?) was able to kill the creature in one round. Then the party was able to drag Ulfgar out of the water, revive him, and get out of there.
They went to one of the public baths, got cleaned up, and took the rest of the day off to recuperate.
The next day, they headed back down again, with Ulfgar in the lead to use his quarter staff to investigate stones for traps. They immediately got beset by mutant creatures again, and had to fight them off, though this time no one went down for the count.
Continuing on, they got past the trap that gave Hannah problems last time, and then crossed over to a side passage with a bridge, but everyone decided just to jump across rather than risk the bridge being trapped. Then they went up a passage, which lead into a hallway where Hannah heard whispering coming from up ahead, around a corner.
They had the Bard rush around the corner and set off a Thunderwave, but nobody was there. Drat. They continued on, until the passage opened up and into a room with a fountain pushing out green water, where they were set upon by more mutants, including one of enormous size. The mutants seemed to have been drinking sewer water which had over time either killed them off, deformed them, or turned them into hulking monstrosities.
Mutants! Told you they were evil!
Eventually, the party was able to defeat the mutants, and recovered quite a bit of money from the fountain. Then they headed back up, realizing from the details of the room that this was the main residence of the sewer people. They returned to the baths, and then went back to their hotel rooms for some nice meals and some rest and relaxation. Ulfgar sent a letter to the Sultan, giving him an update on their exploits.
The next day, the Sultan called the party, which Ulfgar had taken to calling the Golden Party, to his residence. On their way in, he party overhead some cryptic words between the Sultan and someone who seemed to be a dwarf, but no one in the party could give them any significance.
The Sultan thanked them for dealing with the sewer people, and said that this would smooth things over for the Orebreakers to move their banking business into the city. However, the Sultan’s secret backers had a request that he wished to pass on to the party, which was that the backers really wanted a tower. A nice, white tower. Makana had to go, basically, was the thing. Didn’t have to die, just go. The party understood.
Then, when the party went back to the Hotel, who was in the bar, but Makana! Talking to girls! Showing them tricks! Like making one of them disappear! He was on Bahah Blast though, so instead of making her turn invisible, he actually made her disintegrate. Finally, he had done something terrible! The party had an excuse to throw down!
The whole woman being disintegrated thing basically sent the bar into an uproar, so Makana tried to get out of there. When he saw the Golden Party, he was super happy to see his buddies, and invited them to come back to his castle. The party, having seen what just happened, acted like they were still his buddies, and agreed.
And then Makana tried to teleport them all.
Some of the party? They arrived where Makana was. Some of them didn’t. They were in strange rooms they had never seen before.