Monday, January 18, 2010
...And now I feel fine.
Well, I did start drinking. And stopped reading about politics. Still, I think I am having one of my bi-polar days.
No Dreams, No Future
It's Martin Luther King Day today. I have it off thanks to a schedule shift. I should be writing, or reading a book. Instead I stare the my laptop while sitting on my bed and click over and over through websites that aren't going to update so often on Martin Luther King Day because this fucking election on Massachusetts has me completely on edge.
The Democrats, man, the fucking Democrats. They fuck everything up.
Croakley was up by fifteen goddamn points. Fifteen points! And she pissed in all away in a stream of entitlement and lazy campaigning. And now some asshole Republican that no one can decide if he is a rightwing fruitcake or a "moderate republican" but who will definitely uphold a filibuster against, healthcare which, because the fucking Democrats wanted to be so nice to the Republicans who have given nothing but bad faith from the start, still hasn't fucking passed!
This should have been done by now! They should have been on to other things! But now, it looks like the healthcare might fall apart because the Democrats managed to fuck up and lose Ted Kennedy's seat!
I hate this. I hate Coakley, who can't run a fucking campaign. I hate the party apparatchiks who can't run a fucking party, and turn everything into a party machine putting these useless empty suit types up that nobody likes or is inspired by. I hate the fact this this band of cretins and losers is the only thing holding this country back from the Republican Death Cult that will surely destroy us. I hate the liberals out there, the influential ones and their followers, who don't see this, and in some act of holier than thou pique and display of false integrity and independence spend all their time shitting on the Obama Administration (about the only bastion of sane, responsible leadership and organization in the entire party), thus destroying his base of support, not just among themselves, but among independents as well, making situations like this special election fuckup possible. I hate independents, for not seeing how they are being manipulated by dishonest hacks into doing things that will hurt the country, thinking some kind of protest vote will somehow make things better instead of making it harder to get done the things that they want done and are angry are not getting done.
And of course most of all I hate the Republicans. Every last registered one of them. They have destroyed my country with their stupidity, hate, lies, and greed. They are all, every last motherfucking one of them, unAmerican, as unAmerican as they think I am, because everything they do, every action they take, every political cause they champion, hurts us. Hurts me, hurts them (unless they are rich, and those ones need to be fucking shot), hurts all the other Americans, and hurts everybody else in the world. I have nothing for them but contempt. Pure, leaden contempt, and I long for the day when they are gone and destroyed and their every value and ideal is has been crushed and cast aside by the wheels of history.
Today is not a Christian day for me. It is not a loving one. Some days, I am just so fucking tired of you people. You are just so goddamn stupid.
The Democrats, man, the fucking Democrats. They fuck everything up.
Croakley was up by fifteen goddamn points. Fifteen points! And she pissed in all away in a stream of entitlement and lazy campaigning. And now some asshole Republican that no one can decide if he is a rightwing fruitcake or a "moderate republican" but who will definitely uphold a filibuster against, healthcare which, because the fucking Democrats wanted to be so nice to the Republicans who have given nothing but bad faith from the start, still hasn't fucking passed!
This should have been done by now! They should have been on to other things! But now, it looks like the healthcare might fall apart because the Democrats managed to fuck up and lose Ted Kennedy's seat!
I hate this. I hate Coakley, who can't run a fucking campaign. I hate the party apparatchiks who can't run a fucking party, and turn everything into a party machine putting these useless empty suit types up that nobody likes or is inspired by. I hate the fact this this band of cretins and losers is the only thing holding this country back from the Republican Death Cult that will surely destroy us. I hate the liberals out there, the influential ones and their followers, who don't see this, and in some act of holier than thou pique and display of false integrity and independence spend all their time shitting on the Obama Administration (about the only bastion of sane, responsible leadership and organization in the entire party), thus destroying his base of support, not just among themselves, but among independents as well, making situations like this special election fuckup possible. I hate independents, for not seeing how they are being manipulated by dishonest hacks into doing things that will hurt the country, thinking some kind of protest vote will somehow make things better instead of making it harder to get done the things that they want done and are angry are not getting done.
And of course most of all I hate the Republicans. Every last registered one of them. They have destroyed my country with their stupidity, hate, lies, and greed. They are all, every last motherfucking one of them, unAmerican, as unAmerican as they think I am, because everything they do, every action they take, every political cause they champion, hurts us. Hurts me, hurts them (unless they are rich, and those ones need to be fucking shot), hurts all the other Americans, and hurts everybody else in the world. I have nothing for them but contempt. Pure, leaden contempt, and I long for the day when they are gone and destroyed and their every value and ideal is has been crushed and cast aside by the wheels of history.
Today is not a Christian day for me. It is not a loving one. Some days, I am just so fucking tired of you people. You are just so goddamn stupid.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Old stuff
Well, the last few hours have been rather happy. Frustrated with the writing I have been working on, unsure of what content to include and unsure of the fineness of my sentences, I went back and read some old writings, just to remind myself of the continuity of the world I am working in, and found them to be...quite good! Not even "not bad," but quite good! In fact, one piece in particular that I was expecting to be clumsy and hamfisted, I found, minus a few easily corrected missteps and spelling errors, to actually be about as well-written as I could have hoped or wanted. It did everything I had been hoping for it to do, and that is something rare to say about your own writing, so don't think I am just trying to blow smoke up my own ass. I was legitimately surprised at how good it was.
Reading those old bits makes me feel quite positive about my abilities right now. It's always nice to get a bit of a pick me up.
Reading those old bits makes me feel quite positive about my abilities right now. It's always nice to get a bit of a pick me up.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Nag
I have been surfing the internet tonight, and at some point I read something that made me feel kind of down. But I can't remember what it was now. So I can't decide whether to feel kind of down right now or not. On the one hand, I had some reason to feel down, so that probably means I should be down. But what's the point of being miserable if you don't know why you are miserable?
It's confusing.
It's confusing.
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