The City of If

            The city If lies near the center of the lands of Gull, which comprise much of the Northwest of the Continent of Auros, resting above the Long Sea.  The Pyron Mountains (in which lies the peak of Neera, home to the Ancient Gold Dragon Kenya) rest along Gull’s southeastern edge.  If lies within the Basin of the River Still.  The Island of If lies in the city’s center, within the River Still.  The River Still is the major river of the Northern half of Gull, and empties into the Channel of Alb, which divides Gull from the Island of Albion.

            The City of If has a rather peculiar political organization.  Unlike most of the Lands of Gull, which are kingdoms or lordships, If is organized as a democracy.  Ownership of others is illegal there as well, and thus it is known as a Free State.   Every year, the people of If participate in an election.  The residents of each street meet in a public building, and select a fellow resident to represent them in the City Parliament.  The members of Parliament select a Prime member, to serve as leader of the body and oversee sessions.

            The Parliament of If makes no military decisions, for there is no military.  Instead of a standing army, If relies upon the individuals known as the Twelve Protectors.  These are twelve very powerful beings who have made it their duty to ensure the safety of the city, and to intercede in case of any grave injustices.  The Twelve do not intercede in governing affairs, merely keep the peace and protect the city.  This organization has lasted for about 500 years.  While some of the Twelve have held their position since the founding of the Order, others have, from time to time, given up their position when a candidate of sufficient ability has presented him or herself.  New replacing members of the Twelve are chosen only through unanimous consent of the Twelve, and must submit themselves to a series of tests administered by the Twelve, which are known only to those who have been members.  That said, almost all the members of the Twelve seem functionally immortal, in one way or another. 

            The city is surrounded by a wall about its outer boroughs, with 12 gates to match the Twelve Protectors.  Each of the gates has a large gatehouse, which serves as an abode of one of the Twelve, which they may live in and staff, although many of the Twelve keep abodes elsewhere in the city.  Gates 12, 3, 6, and 9 are orientated to the North, West, South, and East, respectively, with the intermediary gates being equally positioned along the wall.  There are tunnels and bridges within the wall that allow the passage of waterways into and out of the city. 

            The members of the Twelve Protectors at this time are as follows:

            1) Elanara, The Faerie Queen:  Quite possibly the eldest being on the council, although with Lucien the most recent to join, Elanara is a Fey royal visiting from Faerie, and whose 50 years spent as a member of the Twelve counts for her as little more than a holiday. The true extent of her power is unknown, but there are residents among the city, particularly elves, who view her as akin to a god. 

            2) Lucien, The Red Wizard:  Clean shaven, and with bright red hair, Lucien is a slim, tall wizard who dresses in red and appears much younger than his considerable magical abilities imply.  He is the consort of Elanara, and has been since before the pair joined the Twelve over 50 years ago.  It is believed it is her magic that has allowed him to survive this long, although it is possible he has, through arcane rites, managed such a feat on his own.

            3) Neblin, The Wizard of the Tree:  Neblin is a curious, seemingly wizened yet spry gnome wizard, who has lived for a very, very long time, and gone quite mad, although that madness has not seemed to affect his abilities any.  The surest way to win his friendship is with the gift of a rare or unique spoon.  He is obsessed with spoons, and collects them constantly, occasionally disappearing from the city for a period of about a week, whereupon his return he is suddenly bereft of them, only to begin collecting them anew.  These absences are frowned upon by much of the city and the Parliament.  However, as Neblin is better than any at solving any mysterious crimes that occur, these periodic lapses of duty are tolerated.  No one knows why he is called the Wizard of the Tree, other than that is what he calls himself; the reason behind the title has never been given, and when questioned on it Neblin grows irritated and evasive.  He has been on the council for 100 years, and seems to have had a prior friendship with Lucien.  He also appears quite skilled at the Bardic arts.  He plays the flute. 

            4) Shana the Wood Elf Druid:  Shana is a Wood Elf of great age and Druidic power.  Though it would seem strange to have a Druid serving within the bounds of a city, Her Gate lies near a forest, and often she can be found passing through that domain, protecting travelers and warding off dangers before they can even reach the city.  These woods are known as Shana’s Wood.  She has been a member of the Twelve since its founding. 

            5) Hagen, an Adult Copper Dragon:  When appearing in humanoid form, he prefers not to in any way hide his nature, and so always appears in a way not dissimilar from a dragonborn or a half-dragon.   Oddly, this means he is the most often mistaken of the dragons on the Twelve for something other than a dragon, for his is the appearance most like another species of creature, and so he often find himself at the receiving end of disrespect and even violence, a situation that Brent is not actually disturbed by (Although he does show mercy in any such conflicts that arise).  The youngest of the dragons on the Twelve, he is nevertheless still a founding member.  

            6) Ulfgar, The Dwarf Machinist:  A Mountain Dwarf of rare age, yet still of hearty build, Ulfgar is tinkerer and engineer with a variety of skills amassed over the course of his long life.  He is adept at magic and skilled at building things.  He commands a variety of Golems and Shield Guardians who serve If as a practical police force.  He is also responsible, often working with Lucien, in building a variety of technological marvels that greatly benefit the city.  A member of the 12 for 150 years, he is responsible for the introduction of indoor plumbing to much of If. 

            7) Orsina, The Tiefling Sorceress:  A maroon-skinned beauty, with rams horns, like many of the members of the Twelve she appears to be much younger than she is.  She has been a member of the Twelve for 300 years, and her continued presence there has created a large Tiefling community within If, as many Tieflings have sought the city out as a refuge against persecution elsewhere.  With Orsina’s presence, they know they can count on equal treatment there. 

            8)  Karla, Halfling Cleric of the Ancestors:  Perhaps the only member of the Twelve who is a native of If, Karla went out adventuring a little over a century ago.  When she returned 35 years later, she submitted to the gauntlet to replace a previous Halfling on the council.  Like many Halfings of Gull, she holds that there is a special afterlife to which Halfings go, forming a special land beyond this one from which the ancestors look down upon their descendants and seek to aid those who give worship to them.  Karla is of normal height for a Halfling, and mostly keeps to her Gatehouse and the Ancestral Temple built nearby.  While she is getting to be quite old for a Halfling, her Clerical powers are undiminished.  She spends much of her time teaching other Halflings in the worship of the Ancestors.

            9) Silva, an Ancient Silver Dragon: Like many other Silver dragons, Silva appears most often in humanoid form while moving among the city.  She often appears as a very tall woman, with silvery skin and jet-black hair, in a long flowing silver robe.  Occasionally, silver wings sprout from her back, and she flies about the city not unlike a demon or a harpy, where her keen eyesight and hearing allows her to spot any altercations that may be happening below.  Though Silva is not yet an ancient dragon, she has nevertheless spent her time among humanoids learning and mastering arcane magic, both as a wizard and a sorcereress.  She is one of the founding members of the Twelve.

            10)  Carina Aum, Human Paladin of Oomphalos: Oomphalos is a god who represents the center of all things.  In addition to training in the arts of Paladin, Carina has skills as a Monk of Oomphalos as well.  Her Gatehouse is in part a temple to Oomphalos, though people passing through are not required to make donations (though many do).  Carina uses a modest apartment upon the top level of the Gatehouse as her quarters.  Carina is recognizable for her great height and blue woad hair, which she dyes, for blue is the color most sacred to Oomphalos. Carina came to join the Council following the completion of her adventures about a hundred years ago, and was drawn there due to the Island of If reminding her of the World Navel, upon which Oomphalos can be found sitting.  She often can be found patrolling the city, wearing her simple, woad-dyed Monk's attire.   She is the most open and outgoing of the Twelve.

            11)  Grog the Barbarian:  Grog is a great, monstrous Half-Orog Fighter.  Standing nearly 8 feet in height, with skin as tough as armor, and covered in magical adornments won in quests across the continents, he can fight entire armies and emerge victorious.  He has settled into his gate house with his young Half-Orc wife, and is now the father of 12 children, although 6 have already gone off in search of adventure.   He has been among the twelve for 72 years. 

            12) Bruun the Ancient Bronze Dragon:  Like many dragons that choose to live among mortal creatures, Bruun takes the appearance of a humanoid when not alone.  He often appears as an aged old man with a long beard, tall enough to most likely be human, although his features are indistinct between elf and man.  The eldest of the Dragons of the Twelve, he has trained also as a Bard and Wizard.  He often plays the lute, but is also skilled as well at the harp and harpsichord.  He has been a member of the Twelve since its founding.

            At about the center of If, there is an island in the River Still, known as the Island of If.  It is on this Island that the major government and religious structures of the city are housed, as well as select houses of the wealthiest residents.  To maintain some separation between the elected parliament and the Power of the Twelve Protectors, a Member of the Twelve may not set foot upon the Island without a formal invitation from the Parliament. 

            On a stone square by the banks of the River Still, near the Island of If, there stands the Tower of If.  This Tower has stood there since well before the Founding of the Twelve Protectors.  It is formed from four separate, square towers, arranged along the corners of a square, curving towards each other until they join together as a single structure, thinning as it rises higher and higher.  There are no visible doors along the bottom, but in the center between the bases there is a circle made from different colored stone.  If a person stands upon there, they may request entrance, and will be teleported to a similar circle on the first layer of the tower directly above them.  There is a great open area inside the tower, with an opening in the middle on all four sides, shortly after the base first joins together, that is several stories in height.  From higher parts of the city, it can be observed that a garden grows upon this level.   

            The Tower of If is inhabited by The Wizard Flem.  Though not a Member of the Twelve Protectors, it is believed he was involved in their formation, so as to insure the protection of the city in which he built his Tower.  He is seen by some as the city’s private benefactor, although he holds no elected post, and whatever activities he pursues are shrouded in secrecy.  His appearance and race are not commonly known, as he tends, if he walks among the city or takes visitors, to alter and disguise his appearance, though he seems to be one of the taller races, with skin the color of aged paper.  He is often bearded, and, if that is not part of a common disguise, it is reasoned he is most likely human, although none know for sure. 

            One of the major draws to the City of If is the Pyramid of Art, a structure built mostly underground, with only the tip of its pyramid structure rising above ground.  Once entering the pyramid, a series of steps takes one down into great architectural spaces, in which some of the finest artworks from all across Auros and beyond are on exhibit.  The Pyramid of Art is run not by the Parliament or the Twelve Protectors, but by an elite counsel of merchants known as the Iffian Traders Guild.   

The Satchel of Mary Jane's Secret Stash

This is a magic item I made up for the Dungeons and Dragons campaign I am running, specifically for Molly's Cleric of Mary Jane, Namfoodle.  

When Clerics of the Goddess Mary Jane reach a certain level of skill with their magic, and come to be accessed at one of the Central Temples, they are given a special satchel called a Secret Stash. The special magic properties of this satchel can only be accessed by a Cleric of Mary Jane.  Everyone else just sees within it six empty compartments.  But from these compartments a Cleric of Mary Jane can draw out six breeds of Herb that are stored at the Main Stash at the HEAD TEMPLE on the Island of Jai-May-Cai in the sacred city of WATSON.  With this special satchel, the Clerics of Mary Jane never need worry about running out of Mary Jane's own special brand of good vibes. 

SECRET STASH (Uncommon Magical Item)

            You can draw about six joints of each in a day.  Smoke the whole joint to get the effect.  Smoking a joint takes 10 minutes, but can be stretched out for an hour. 

            THC-IS-GOOD-FOR-ME:  A person who gets high on this gains a +5 to any saving throws that overcome illnesses or poisonings.  A person who gets high on this after incurring a penalty may reroll with the bonus.  May imbibe again after a short rest. 

            ALL GAIN NO PAIN:  A person who gets high on this grass gains back 1D8+CON MOD lost hit points.  They must wait one hour before they can gain this effect again (IE a short rest). 

             FLOW STATE:  You are just in it, man.  The universe makes total sense.  +2 To DEX and Wisdom scores for one hour, but -2 to INT.  This lasts for just one hour and the effect can’t be experienced again for a day. 

            GOOD VIBES: Wisdom modifier doubles for a cleric when turning undead.    Anyone else with a good alignment just feels super groovy and in tune with it all, and gains Advantage on Wisdom Saving Throws.  Neutral beings are unaffected.  Evil beings take a -4 to all stats and are poisoned.  Lasts for 3 hours. 

            COCOON:  There is like a blanket of high around you, protecting you and helping you ward off evil.  -2 to all damage you take that is nonmagical.  Things just don’t bother you, man.  -2 to CHA. Lasts one hour. 

            THE DELUXE:  This just gets you really, really stoned.  -3 to INT and DEX for 3 hours.  Good for selling for cash. 

            Any effects of one strain are wiped out when a new strain is smoked. 

The Kingdom of Zantium

Notes for further use for my Dungeons and Dragons campaign setting:

To the east, along the northern side of the Inland Sea, lies the Kingdom of Zantium.  It is made up predominantly of orcs, hobgoblins, men, and half-orcs, with a smattering of other races.  Its mountains are full of Duergar and goblins, and its trees are full of savage wood elves.  The peoples ride on horses and and travel in moving cities, the better to conduct raids on nearby lands.  

Zantium has been ruled for nearly 300 years by Belbog, who, though he appears to be human man, is actually a Black Dragon.  This fact is widely known.  In fact, he is called the Dragon King.  He wrestled control of Zantium from a human king all those years ago after assembling an army of mercenaries while posing in human form.  Upon his conquering of the land, he revealed his true nature, and set about building a court to fit his character.  He built a palace over the entrance of what was later revealed to be his lair, and so the area surrounding his palace is subject to his magical will.  

His court includes the 15 half-dragon children who have been born to him and not died in battle or old age, although three of them have not yet come of age.  Having seen his first consort die of old age, as well as some of his older children, his present consort is the wood elf princess Elana, and he has a half-orc consort as well.  There is also a coterie of vampires and their vampire spawn who serve him as courtiers, scribes, and advisors, as well as a number of spellcasters of various races, including at least one Oni.  One of Belbogs most common punishments for transgressions is to turn a person over to the vampires to use as they see fit, or to give one's children to the Oni. 

Belbog was ancient before he conquered  Zantium, and while he appears at times in his Garantuan Black Dragon form for battle purposes, it seems as if Belbog actually enjoys the pleasures of human culture, and delights in leading men and making war, and crushing his enemies as a man.  

Belbog appears as a pale skinned human male of seven feet in height, with a warrior's build.  He wears jet black hair down to his waist, though it is often braided, and tends to favor black silk robes that he accentuates with a rotating sampling of his massive collection of jewelry.  Despite his fondness for war on other nations, he has little interest in fomenting alliances with fiends and other evil beings.  Drow are looked down upon within Zantium for their worship of Lolth, as the only evil diety Belbog respects is Tiamat. The mountain inhabitants can always count on his aid should the drow begin to encroach upon their territory.   He may look the other way when it comes to his vampire servants worshiping infernal beings, but  conduct with actual demons and devils from the lower planes is strictly prohibited. 

Black Sabbath at the United Center, 01/22/16

I don’t think before tonight I had realized just how much Black Sabbath mean to me.  Three months ago, I saw Clutch in concert, and for a while now, I have been saying that Clutch is my favorite band.  And really, they are!  And it was a great show, the Clutch show!  But this?  This was so, so much better.  This was something religious.  There is something transcendent about Black Sabbath to me, something primal, like it is the sound of, I don’t know, the ineffable or something, coming into the world of the here and now.  It’s all in that guitar tone, really, that ringing, leaden, drone, that can nonetheless take off like a butterfly at a moment’s notice.

While I was standing in line, waiting to get into the United Center, a guy next to me mentioned that Tony Iommi had cancer.  And, maybe it was under control, or something.  Right now, I still don’t know if it’s true or not.  But this show was billed as the end, and that possibility, that there might be actual death hanging over the band, over Tony, hadn’t really occurred to me.  I thought, if anything, saying it’s the last tour was just a sweet marketing gimmick! Now there I was thinking about that show, this tour, might actually be the end,  like the band knew they wouldn’t be able to do this again, and that gave it a kind of momentousness I hadn’t been expecting. 

For the weeks running up to this show, I realize now I didn’t totally buy in that it would happen.  I didn’t think it would happen.  I kept thinking I had forgotten the date, and the show might have already happened.  I thought Ozzy might die, because if Lemmy is going, then Bowie, geez, who else is next?  (Tony?)  I thought I wouldn’t be able to find parking (I did, on the street 1000 feet down in a residential area, on my way there, no sweat).  I thought I would have car trouble (I stopped and topped off my gas tank and put air in my tires on the way there).  I thought I would be late.  I thought the show was going to suck, that it was called The End because the band could barely play, and everyone was garbage now. 

And then the lights went down, and they starting playing Black Sabbath, the song, and I thought, ‘oh, shit, I’m really here,’ and suddenly nothing felt real, precisely.  I couldn’t actually be here seeing Black Sabbath play, could I?  And then it dawned on me that I was really watching Black Sabbath play.

And they sounded like Black Sabbath.

I mean, Bill Ward wasn’t there, so that was bittersweet but the drummer who played was amazing (he even got a drum solo!  They actually played Rat Salad!).  But Geezer and Tony were, well, they were perfect.  And Ozzy was in strong voice!  And on key!  And hyping the crowd!   It was four guys, just four guys, making the most colossal sound you could imagine.  Honestly, the way they played it might as well have been 1970. 

They played Fairies Wear Boots!  After Forever!  Into the Void!  Snowblind!  And Behind the Wall of Sleep into NIB!  Hand of Doom!  War Pigs!  Iron Man!  Paranoid and Children of the Grave!  There were more, including three songs towards the end I wasn’t familiar with, God is Dead, Under the Sun, and Evil Women, and you could feel the energy of the crowd lagging during those, but Under the Sun had some of Tony’s best soloing of the night, and I appreciated them pulling out some deep cuts.  Maybe they are pulling out a couple random deep cuts at each show.  It could be the last time they play any of them.  For all I know, I might have just seen the last performance of Under the Sun. 

And I did appreciate that, getting to see those solos.  Tony Iommi is my favorite guitarist.  I love what he does.  The reason I love Black Sabbath?  It’s really Tony.  There were several times during the night, after Tony was playing some inhumanly perfect passage of a solo, that Ozzy was just pointing out how incredible the guy was. 

There was a jumbo screen behind the band, and sometimes it would focus in on one of the players, and there was a camera down front that allowed them, sometimes, to show Tony’s fingers on the fret board, and you could actually make out, if you knew to look for them, the place where Tony’s fingers ended and the false fingertips began, and then you would realize again that this guy was playing this amazing music and he is missing his fingertips.  Tony isn’t just my favorite guitarist; I think he is actually the closest thing I have to a personal hero.  To think that someone, a guitarist, could lose the tips of his fingers?  On his fretting hand?  And somehow bounce back from it and create the sound of Black Sabbath?  Birth Heavy Metal? 

Black Sabbath doesn’t sound like other metal bands.  The same way Black Sabbath failed to play the blues, Heavy Metal is really just bands failing to play like Black Sabbath.  No other band has figured out quite how to sound like that, because no other band has Tony Iommi.  Tony’s guitar isn’t harsh.  It’s heavy, and it’s menacing, but the tone has so many layers, he can go from punishing brutality to soaring beauty in moments.  And it’s all there, all the time.    And he composes these passages.  Nobody solos like him.  His solos aren’t noodling, they are instrumental passages.  And I got to be there while he played them. 

So, yeah.  I hadn’t realized going into that how much it would mean to me.  That wasn’t just a rock concert for me.  It was like the completion of a circle, one that started all the way back when Andrew played Iron Man for me for the first time on a tape cassette, and it sounded unlike anything I had ever heard before.  Twenty some odd years later, I actually saw those guys play that song.  I had never, ever, thought I would see that.  Music from the 60’s was something that had come and been.  Even then.  But there they were, doing it.  I got to be in a room and watch Black Sabbath play.  Maybe it was the last time, the only time.  I hope it’s not.  I hope Tony lives for years and years.  I hope they come play again, and I get to go.  I won’t mind the false advertising!  But at least I got to see it, at least once.  At least I got to overlap with it. 

I really don’t think I will ever see a concert that will mean as much to me as that one.  See music played live that means as much to me as that.  And that’s ok.  It’s wonderful to just to have such fleeting moments.    Time passes, people die and we go our separate ways.  But sometimes, we can show up, in the same place together and witness Beauty. 

Dungeons and Dragons 15

So.  Two weeks ago we were in the empty gnome town after laying waste to the Orcs and snake people who had taken over.  Unfortunately, since we had killed them all, there wasn’t any leads on what to do next.  So we stuck around, and after some time, a Green Dragon showed up. 

As stupid headstrong adventurers itching for a TPK, the party followed Dragon Man’s lead and waltzed up to this Green Dragon, and started talking trash about the all his useless minions that they just killed and how they, the party, would obviously make better servants.  The Green Dragon, amazingly, agreed with this, and pressed the party into service for him, because, sure, why not.  Ulfgar views this as a chance to serve as double agents, which will give them a much better chance of stopping whatever this Green Dragon is up to (who is named Krollnish the Vile, by the way).  Nory is probably chafing at pretending to serve anyone other than Cthulu.  Who knows what Dragon Man is thinking (I’d rather serve a Black Dragon?).  Who cares what the Bard is thinking.  Hannah probably just thinks the dragon is cute. 

So, The Green Dragon told them to head to the city of (I think) Illmatter, which is 100 miles north along the main river.  There is a sacred temple there guarded by another good dragon, just like the copper one who guarded the gnome village (who had been named Reveran Rayanne, since I never mentioned that before).  Krollnish wanted us to travel there and work to undermine this good dragon, and set the grounds for his destruction.  Through the destruction of good dragons, Krollnish aims to lay the grounds for the return of his evil snake god.  That’s cool with us, we said, and the dragon flew off.

After dallying a lot more than necessary, we set off for the refugee city on the riverside.  On the way, we came back upon Randy’s hut, and discovered that Randy was, indeed, working the snakepeople and orcs, probably as a reanimated corpse or something.  They pretended (vainly) to fight each other, but we dismissed this by pointing out we worked for Krollnish too, now.  But they didn’t believe us.  We got indignant, naturally, and Ulfgar killed them all with a fireball. 

This is that last time Ulfgar is going to do anything useful for a while, so let me take a moment to savor it.  Oh yeah.  Ulfgar killed all the baddies with one spell.  Nobody else got to kill anybody.  Power gamer heaven.  Hmm-mmm. 

The party continued on to River City, not expecting trouble, and met up with the fussy gnome we had dealt with earlier and gave him his stuff and sold him some other stuff, and we were now properly loaded.  Huzzah!  Then we went to the inn and dealt with tricking the dim bartender to giving us other people’s rooms while using fake aliases.

For Ulfgar, this turned out to be a bad idea, as the bartender knew that someone was looking for him.

Heading into the room that had not actually been reserved for him, Ulfgar found a note on the table.  He went over and opened it, because who’s ever been afraid of a note? 

‘The Greenwoods send their regards,’ it read. 

And then, in true Red Wedding style, Ulfgar looked down at the two blades sticking through his chest. 

That was the last thing he remembered before awaking.  He was amazed to find that he was, indeed, still alive.  He was even more amazed to discover that he still had all his possessions.  Well, except one thing.  He was missing his tongue.  For Ulfgar, that was probably the most amazing thing of all. 

There was another noted left upon the table.  It pointed out, in so many words, that the whole tongue thing was to stop him from making any more deals. 

(This meant a couple of things, which Ulfgar didn’t exactly process at the time on account for being too upset about his tongue missing.  First, it meant that the deal with the Orebreakers and the Sultan of Ispep had gone through.  There was no way for the Greenwoods to learn about the deal unless it had been publicly announced and their own arrangements with Ispep terminated.  This of course, meant that the Orebreakers had gone through with a deal with unscrupulous dwarves and drow.  Drow.  Which implied, perhaps, either the Orebreaker clan was in even more dire straits than Ulfgar himself had known, and had gotten desperate, that they in fact lacked the scruples that they had professed to him in his youth, or both.  He hopes that there is some facts unknown to him that will absolve him of these worries—Maybe these Drow aren’t actually all that bad!—but he doubts it.  As the later weeks spent upon the ship pass, these worries shall grow ever more prominent in his mind.  Also, he is completely confused by why the Greenwoods deigned to leave him alive, when they could have simply had him killed.  No one knew who he was around there.  Were they afraid that the Orebreakers might learn of a murder, and respond more negatively?  Maybe they wanted to send a message to the Orebreakers?  Surely, the Orebreakers would not treat this defilement as acceptable, would they?  Perhaps, it was bartered for by the Orebreakers?  Did his people condone his defilement?  Could, perhaps, it not have been the Greenwoods themselves who sent the assassin?  After all, who signs off on their assassination attempt?  Could it have been his own people, trying to start a war with the Greenwoods by creating probable cause?  Who could Ulfgar trust, now?)

When Ulfgar was able to meet up with the party and explain what had happened to him (mostly through pointing, some grunting), the party asked around and learned that the quickest way to regenerate Ulfgar’s tongue was to travel to Illmatter and entreat the very metallic dragon that they had been tasked with to destroy!  Serendipity! 

The party made preparations and headed out, traveling upriver in a longship piloted by the usual pair of tricksy figures.  Along the way, they ran afoul of several glowing orbs of light.  Now, as Ulfgar was missing a tongue, the spells he could use consisted of: True Strike, Counterspell.  That’s it.  Therefore, Ulfgar was well on useless, but he did manage to stab of the glowy things and cast a counterspell to stop it from turning somewhat invisible.  But, The Bard had the Lantern of Revealing at this point, which made all of them easy to hit, and the party made short work of them. 

As the party was thus engaged in fighting river spirits, the boat got trapped upon a sandbank, and the boat was soon set upon by an ogre.  But, Dragon Man and Hannah rushed into melee against the thing, and Hannah preceded to unleash the full power and her fully armed and operational Level 6 abilities.  And soon, the Ogre was no more. 

The party kicked ass, without really even needing Ulfgar.  Ulfgar felt well on useless.  Aww.

The party got the boat off the Sandbar, and continued on their way. 

At that point, the session ended.  But, I want to take a moment to say that this may well have been the last session that we will get to play with John for some time, which likely means that Nory will soon be leaving us as well, as John is moving away, having landed his dream job.  These write-ups didn’t really manage to convey it, but John was easily the funniest  roleplayer in the sessions, really committing to playing Nory as a batshit insane little Cthulu acolyte that he was, and mining that concept for all the humor it was worth, power gaming needs be damned.  He will be missed.

Congratulations on your new job, John.  This summer and fall have been the most we’ve ever got to play Dungeons and Dragons together, and I have really enjoyed it, and will treasure the experience.  I hope this isn’t that last we see of Nory, and I hope we get to play DnD again together sometime.  May Fharlanghn smile upon your travels (I believe you are in transit as I write this!), and may you always have a friend in Cthulu.