Dungeons and Dragons Part 11

When we last left our heroes, they had bedded down for the night, planning to travel through the wilderness to a gnome village a week’s journey distant, to confront a band of orcs who had taken over the town, and had killed the copper dragon who had served as the town’s protector.  However, the next morning the party realized that they had no easy transport to the town, and would have to procure some.  Luckily there was a gnome who was fleeing the city who had a wagon filled with iron ore and uncut gems.  He sold these items to the party, and also made a deal with them to recover the treasure he had hidden within the city.  He told them where it was hidden, and the party promised to bring it to him when they returned, because the party is trust-worthy. 

So the party bought supplies, and Nory gave some Cthulu dolls to some refugee gnome children, and then the party set off.  They hid most of the party members inside the wagon, so that people wouldn’t know their true numbers.

The party came, eventually, upon a wagon, traveling from the gnome city.  They hailed them politely, but something seemed fishy, so Ulfgar used a message spell to communicate with the gnome driver to alert them of any danger.  The driver whispered back ‘help us.’

At this Ulfgar came up with a plan.  Hannah, having aided in the defeat of Superdragon, had a cape that allowed her to fly.  The bard would cast a spell of invisibility on her, and she would fly over to the other wagon, check out the situation, and then report back to the party.  Everyone agreed to the plan, except Nory, who shot off a spell at the other wagon’s horse, killing it. 

Then a sword emerged from the driver’s chest.

Deciding that any innocents must surely be dead now, Ulfgar cast fireball on the wagon, and three orcs jumped out of the ensuing fiery blaze.  The party rushed into battle and made short work of them, only to discover that the wagon had actually been full of gnome children.  Like over a dozen gnome children.  Over a dozen charred dead gnome children.

Ulfgar punched Nory and screamed at him for ruining the plan, and how he had assumed that there was no way for there to be people still alive in there, because of course there had to be, but pretty soon the enormity of what had just happened set in and then, Ulfgar just kind of shut down. 

The party continued on, and eventually camped down for the night off the road.  Maybe they got attacked, maybe they didn’t.  I don’t remember.  However, when they tried to get the cart back on the road the next morning, the axle broke under the weight of the iron ore in it, so they ditched all that stuff, Ulfgar used Mend to repair the cart, and they went on their way. 

Eventually, they came to an inn along the road, with was empty, but the party wanted someplace warm and dry to rest, so they went inside.  The inn was empty, and the innkeep was acting strangely, and then, the drinks that two of the party drank turned out to be poisoned!  The party overcame it, but when they questioned the innkeep they realized he was bewitched, and figured out a way to lift it.  The innkeep remembered nothing of what had happened to him, but when he came to he worried about his family, and ran into the back area to check for them.  The party followed after him, just in time to see him slaughtered by orcs standing over the bodies of his dead family. 

Well, the party killed the orcs, but, due to another fireball Ulfgar cast, and complications in dealing with the blaze, due in part to Ulfgar’s bewitchment by an orc sorceress, convincing him that he had to save the dead children, the fire got out of control and burned down the entire inn, and the party had to rush out, narrowly escaping being crushed in the collapsing inferno.

They ended up spending the night in the cart again. 

That happened two weeks ago.  Tomorrow, the adventure continues!  Maybe this time they won’t fail endangered innocents!

Dungeons and Dragons Part 10

So, we are playing DnD tomorrow but I never wrote up our last session!  This is because I am lazy.  However, I doubt I will remember what happened last time unless I start writing it up so I better try my best.

So, after the party killed Makana, they went their separate ways a bit.  Nory got some progress made on his evil toys of Madness and Darkness.  Hannah and Dragon Man were attacked by Superdragon, who was intent on kicking Dragon Man’s ass for still being in the city.  Hannah, after getting a few licks in, decided to desert Dragon Man to his fate at the hand of Superdragon.  But, just as she saw Dragon Man succumbing to defeat, she rushed back in to attack once more, and knocked Superdragon unconscious!  This allowed the freshly revived Dragon Man to cut off Superdragon’s head, so the pair could run away from the townsfolk recoiling in horror at the gruesome execution of one of their heroes. 

When the pair returned to the hotel, it turned out that one of the other adventurers had learned of a frontier city beset by evil forces to the North, and Dragon Man quickly recommended that the party travel to their aid. 

The party left the city, crossed the lake uneventfully, retrieved their animals, realized they needed to travel upriver, and thus would need to use a river transport, sold their animals, and then realized they really should tell the Sultan of Ispep they were leaving.  So some of the party returned to Ispep to talk to the Sultan, and some went about securing them passage north. 

The party in the city managed to gain a short order audience with the Sultan and his heretofore mysterious backers, who turned out to be evil Drow and evil dwarves who are willing to partner with evil Drow.  The party members hightailed it out of there as politely as they could, promising absolutely no commitments on the part if the Orebreaker Clan.  As soon as they were out of sight Ulfgar sent what amounted to an ABORT ABORT message to his fellow Orebreakers, which is to say that he explained the nature of the people wanting to draw them into business.

On the other shore of the lake, the party found passage on a strange ship run by merely a halfing and a wizened wizard who powered the craft through the steady application of wind spells.  Within a couple of days the party was attacked by huge muck creatures, one of whom almost carried a knocked out Ulfgar away in the current, but he was saved by the Useless Bard diving into the water after his swiftly passing corpse. 

Later, the party boat passed between a pack of fairies lights and a ship of pirates.  When the fairy lights attacked, the pirates stayed off to the side, planning to take the ship upon the deaths of the inhabitants at the hands of the fairy lights.  However, after Ulfgar set off a Fireball and the Useless Bard unleashed a Thunder Wave in the destruction of the sprites, the pirates decided that such magic users were too much trouble for them to deal with, and sped off. 

Eventually, the party made up to the village from which the trail led to the village they were searching for.  There they heard tales from the other people fleeing the city, saying it had been overrun by orcs or something.  There was no vacancy in the inn within the village, but the barkeep was very dumb, so Nory managed to trick him into giving him the room of someone else who had reserved one.  The party than prepped for the journey ahead! 

That’s all I remember!

Dungeons and Dragons Part 9

Last week we played DnD but I did not post about it because I have been lazy all week.  But honestly, not much happened, at least not much that can be written in a write-up.

Last week, the party was trying to figure out what to do with scraps of paper and figuring out the order the lenses needed to be put in to open the ‘demesne’ (a word I did not know the meaning of!) of Makana’s father.  As the session began, the Useless Bard showed up, whining about how he had lost his lute in the Fay Wild, and with Makana in tow.  Makana looked like shit and blamed it on saving Useless Bard but really it was from being all coked up on Bahah Blast, but Ulfgar wasn’t having it and hit Makana with a Scorching Ray. 

Makana seemed to shrug it off, and, when the rest of the party stood around shrugging and not attacking Makana like Ulfgar was pretty sure they had talked over that they would do, Ulfgar changed course by necessity and they went back to trying to figure out the order of the lenses.  Eventually the order was determined with some crucial insights from Makana, and the portal was opened to the demesne. 

It was a room, with a guard, who was an enchanted suit of armor, and who immediately announced its intention of killing the party.  So, the party and Makana began fighting it.  But!  It quickly became obvious that arcane spells had no effect upon it.   So, when Makana’s first attack turned out to be a massive fireball that hurt everybody except the guard, Ulfgar focused his scorching rays on Makana, not the guard, because he really didn’t like him anymore. 

Eventually, the guard crumbled.  And the Useless Bard found a bag inside him that everyone saw him try to hide!  But!  Ulfgar refused to stop attacking Makana with Scorching Rays!

So Makana laid Ulfgar out with a Magic Missile.

Magic Missile is a first level spell.  It consists of three points of energy, each dealing damage.  For every spell level slot you move up the casting, you gain an additional point of energy.  Makana’s Magic Missile consisted of 11 points of light.  Do the math. 

And the party didn’t want to fight Makana.  They had no idea what came out their crazy dwarf friend!  Ha Ha!  Let’s just stand around and not fight now!

Oh!  But then Makana asked for the bag Useless Bard found.  And Useless Bard threw it to the ground!  And Makana was going to grab it.  Hannah, not being a total asshole, ran over and fed Ulfgar a healing potion. 

By the way, somewhere in here, Makana took another hit of Bahah Blast.   He was going to go up and pick up the treasure and  (I later learned out of game) abscond with it, leaving the party behind, but Dragon Man finally decided to follow Ulfgar’s lead slash not lose the treasure and attacked Makana.

Well, Makana laid out Dragon Man.  Then Ulfgar attacked again and got laid out.  In fact, everyone kind of got their ass kicked that did anything useful until Hannah finally killed the guy.  Then Nory, not being helpful, tried to steal the treasure bag, but other Nory sucks at lying so he had to give it up.  It was in a bag of holding!  Nory kept the bag, and the party split the treasure. 

Then they cut off Makana’s head and threw it in the bag of holding.  That felt good.  He deserved it.

The party, pretty much all on death’s door at this point, decided to take a long rest. 

Now, Makana, being a real asshole, had, it turned out, cast a spell that blocked the portal the party had entered through.  So the party had to figure a new way out.  Luckily, they found three scrolls of teleport on his headless corpse! 

Ulfgar tried casting it, but, as I had been rolling terribly all session, the spell failed.  Then the Useless Bard, who had been rolling pretty well, and has a higher charisma bonus, tried, and got it on the second time, and teleported all of us into the room we had just left. 

Suddenly, we remembered that the room had no doors.  Perhaps we should have teleported to another place that wasn’t so precariously positioned! 

The party started working the stones in one of the walls.  Pulling it out, the party found themselves staring down the side of the tower, from high up in the sky.  So, Ulfgar cast Spider Climb on the party (I knew that would come in handy at some point!) and they all walked down to the street.

Then they went back to the hotel.  Their rooms were waiting for them.  Ulfgar sent a letter to the Sultan letting them know the task was done.  Then they took a load off. 

That was it!  No Cliffhanger!

Dungeons and Dragons, Part 8

Ok.  So, a week ago last Saturday we played DnD, but I didn’t write it up because I was feeling lazy and stuff.  This account might be shortish, on account of me not remembering stuff.

When we left off, Ulfgar, The Bard, and Dragon Man got teleported by Makana into random parts of the city.  Realizing that their companions were likely inside of Makana’s tower, Ulfgar and Dragon Man quickly figured out their locations and made their way to the tower, arriving at the same time.  There was no sign of The Bard though, on account of Eric deciding not to show up.

Ulfgar and Dragon Man made it to the tower, and found Makana outside it.  Makana quickly teleported them into the tower, and then four of the members of the Golden Party were inside. 

Each of the party members found themselves in a black empty space, devoid of form.  For each of them, a pattern of gears formed of differing hues of light appeared, as well as a rod, which was also made of light.  Each of the party members had to examine the gears and determine which direction to use the rod to turn the last gear that so it would move a bar towards a smiley face instead of an exxed-out dead face.  Each of the members, after careful consideration (or taking a fifty-fifty chance) managed to turn the gear in the correct direction.

Each of the members then appeared in an empty stone room together, and they were happy so find that, minus the Useless Bard, they had all been reunited. 

A portal of magenta colored light opened below them.  After trying to scout it out by lowering Ulfgar into it, it turned out that you really just had to allow yourself to be teleported to another place once within, and the rest of the party just jumped in. 

They found themselves along the bank of a boiling, greasy river, with a ship nearby, surrounded by grey, gloomy hills.  The party got in the boat, and started heading down it, getting more despondent as they went.  An air of subtle unreality hung over the whole place as they went, but that feeling did little to lessen their gloom.  Eventually, they came to an amethyst portal on the river, and passed through it.

They then passed through several portals on the river, taking them through various levels of what felt like hell.  There was a gloomy hell full of giant worms, and Hannah and Dragon Man turned into worms!  But when Nory and Ulfgar killed them, they turned into shades that were returned to their proper forms in the next realm.  There was a realm full of cages packed with damned souls, and gates across the river.  One gate had a lock made of Adamantium, and Hannah shattered her great axe trying to break it open.  Another level was a river of fire, and the party was attacked by a suspiciously ineffectual Pit Fiend (Well, in comparison to normal Pit Fiends, that is). 

Eventually, the party arrived out of the interminable stream of hells along the river (which someone pointed out was likely the River Styx) after passing though an indigo portal.  The river ended here, and the party got out and began traveling over land.  They eventually came to a sleeping giant, and Dragon Man, being Dragon Man, walked up and attacked it.  This initial sneak attack allowed the party to defeat the giant, and after he surrendered he moved aside a boulder revealing another portal, an emerald one.

This portal took the party to some kind of Beast Plane, where they rested for the night after having been pretty beaten up by the previous realms, and ignored any plot hooks that may have been dangled in front of them while they were trying to sleep, such as Polar Bears dying in the night.  Remember, Dungeons Masters, never bother dangling plot hooks when the party has decided to long rest.  Parties who are trying to not die are not going anywhere. 

Next was a gold portal that took them to the Mountainous Plane of Celestia, where, to get out, the party had to praise the god Tyr to an Angel.  Ulfgar came up with a chorus that went something like this:

O Tyr, Tyr, Tyr!

Thinking of you removes my tears!

In light of your justice, I lose all fear!

My heart does warm when you are near!

O Try, Tyr, Tyyyyyyyyyyr!

An orange level here took them to a land of contentment, and the party rested among trees bearing fruits and nuts of plenty and slept.  Hannah didn’t want to travel through the Saffire Portal they found, and planned to stay there forever, even though the rest of the party knew that kind of thing never worked out in places like this, so Nory agreed with her and tricked her into walking through the Portal, telling her it was actually a green curtain.  Because Hannah is very stupid. 

The Saffire Portal took them to a realm where they saw two fighting elves, and they convinced them to fight each other instead of them and then placed bets on who would win.  The one Ulfgar bet on won. 

Next was a Saffron Portal that took them to a land of straight trees, which was so orderly that chaotic little Nory went stir crazy and ran off the path and got in fights with animatronic guards that looked like they’d been assembled out of bits of Humpty Dumpty.  But he got better.

After that was an Amber Portal taking them to a land that was wilderness on one side and civilization on the other side.  They passed by a pair of birds digging in the middle of the trail and spent a day messing about in the city, then went back and found a Silver Portal in the hole the birds were digging. 

The silver portal took them to a stone room that seemed to lack the vague unreality of the various lands they had just spent several days passing through.  It housed an enormous telescope-like device filled with lenses that matched the colors of the various portals.  The room was also filled with many bookshelves. There were no doors or windows.

One book sitting out had a passage that allowed the party to deduce that there was a way out by placing the lenses in a specific order in the telescope thing.  The party then rummaged through the books and found scraps of paper that related a journey through  the  various Planes.  If the scraps were put together in the proper order, they figured, that order would tell you the order to place the lenses in order to get it to work. 

At this point we stopped playing because we had been playing for over four hours and everyone was tired. 

After putting us through that, though, one thing is for sure:  the party now really, really, really wants to kill Makana. 

Writer's Block?

Early last week I had made a resolution to myself to write a thousand words a day.  I had been getting pretty lax in terms of writing activity and I had wanted to make some kind of commitment to get myself going again.  And for about six days, I did it!  I got a lot of writing done, and finished off two chapters of the thing I am working on now. 

And then I started trying to write the next chapter, and I just had nothing.  It wasn't that I wasn't feeling like writing.  Far from it!  In fact, I was sitting down every night, but one, for hours, and trying to figure out what to write next.  But nothing was coming.  I ended up spending all that time doing research to what I wanted to eventually write.  I suppose I could have knocked out some words on the two or so short stories I have in the mix, but I just didn't feel like it.  I had felt all this momentum building up in the days before on the main thing, and working on something else would have felt like putting that on the back burner.  Besides, those things had stalled too; shifting focus to those would have meant still banging my head against a wall, it would just be a different wall. 

I wonder, then, if this is writer's block, or at least a version of it.  It's not that I don't want to write, or that I am being lazy.  It is just that the ideas are not yet there for what I want to do, what feels right when I put it on the page.  It's like I have to wait for my subconscious to catch up to what I want to work on.  Its annoying, because honestly I would rather be typing.  When I do enough typing, I find that I actually like it, the sensation of your self melting away and becoming merely the flow of words and sentence structures building themselves invisibly inside the cavern of the mind as your hands glide intuitively over the keyboard.  I want to get back to that.  Why can't I? 

Hurry up, brain!